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Bloggers: Protect Against Blog Negativity
Posted by Mommy Blogger Me on April 28, 2009
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Mommy bloggers exist in a highly competitive blogworld, at least, it often seems that way to us in our minds. Protecting ourselves against self-imposed “blog negativity” is absolutely key if we want to be successful and to ensure our own peace of mind. (This advice doesn’t apply only to bloggers – it is vital for parents as well.)
I read a paragraph in an article by Trent Hamm from The Simple Dollar a long time ago, and I’ve never forgotten the quote. Seriously, I mean a LONG time – I’ve been holding onto this quote since July 2007, just waiting for the perfect time to write about it. Well my friends, that time is now.
It’s Easy to get Caught Up…
We bloggers are immersed in other people’s lives. We usually browse and read other people’s blogs, and interact with
other bloggers on twitter and in blog carnivals like Works for Me Wednesday, Family Friday, and Thursday Thirteen. Since we have so much exposure to other people’s lives and activities, it is easy to get caught up in a subconscious habit of comparing ourselves to other bloggers.
After all, we see everything everyone
else is doing – what they’re blogging about, tweeting about, what sponsors they have, what conferences they are going to, what blog talk radio shows they’re doing, the newest widgets they’ve found, what forums they participate in, what cool Wordpress plugins they’ve installed… the list goes on and on.
Blogging is hard work, and being part of this community means creating things to contribute, whether blog posts or photos or comments or advice. How can you use your creative power when you’re choked by negative feelings about other people doing more than you?
Even if you’re not a blogger, this tip still applies to you. Parents can get involved in negativity and self-doubt by seeing what other parents do or think or accomplish, and feeling as though they’re not doing as well.
It’s overwhelming to think of what everyone else is doing, and it’s only natural to compare ourselves and our efforts to see if we “measure up”. But you have to keep that comparison reasonable and in perspective. When this happens to me, I think back to the quote I was telling you about earlier. I read it in an article titled, “10 Techniques I Used To Go From 0 To 12,000 RSS Subscribers In Seven Months – With No Ads Or Leverage”. When I started reading Trent’s article (which was a guest post on ProBlogger), I expected to find strategies and action items. What I did not expect to find was this snippet of gold, perfect for mommy bloggers:
“Don’t give into negativity:
“At some point, you’re going to be jealous of the success of another blogger. At some other point, you’re going to believe that the game is rigged against you – that there’s no way you can become really popular. Don’t believe a word of it. The blogosphere is the closest thing to a meritocracy that exists for sharing ideas – the things that get you ahead are working your tail off and having good ideas.
“Whenever you get jealous of someone, think of the time they’ve invested to reach their level of success and respect it instead. Whenever you get down on yourself or on the blogosphere as a whole, remember that by sitting there being negative, you’re wasting time that you could be using to directly or indirectly get your voice out there.” – Trent Hamm
That reality check helps me keep my thoughts on the positive when I start realizing that other people are doing more or different things than I am.
As an intelligent person, you are a creator, not a copier. You don’t have to keep up with anyone else, let alone everyone else, and to think you could is unrealistic! I am ONE person, and so are you. One person can only do so much, and we have to remember to take it easy on ourselves and RESPECT what we do and all that we accomplish, instead of criticizing our hard work! You might also like to read our interview with Crystal Paine (of Money Saving Mom) on how bloggers can balance computer time and family life.
Harvey Stoppe said,
I don’t know if I’m allowed to comment on here, seeing as how I’m a dude, but I thought I’d let you know that it helped me breathe a little easier. Good luck on this one. I like what I see and will be exploring more in the future.
Peace out.
Christy Klein said,
Very sound advice. It’s easy to find ourselves comparing our lives with others in the bloggy world & out of the bloggy world. This advice applies to all aspects of life. A good reminder, thanks!
Kirsty said,
This is FANTASTIC and applies to every area of life really doesn’t it? We do tend to conglomerate the success of “everyone else” and then expect to live up to ALL of it as one person. Ridiculous! It is hard sometimes to breathe and realize we are all coming from different places with different things to offer. I loved the creator vs. copier concept too. Great aha moment. Thanks so much.
Cheri said,
Thanks so much for this post. I’ve been a little down in the mouth lately about the blog world . . . .. it seems like everyone (but me) is getting a book deal. Everyone has more comments than me, etc. And I’ve been discouraged. But not now. Thanks again.
melissa~afamiliarpath said,
enjoyed this post!
Susan said,
Yes, what soothing advice! I find myself checking my blog’s pageviews and comments way more than I should. I enjoyed this!
Tracey said,
Thanks for this great reminder!!
Melissa said,
Thanks for this great reminder! I’m a new blogger, but I’ve been reading others’ blogs for a long time.
Amber said,
I couldn’t agree more. The blogoshere is huge and it’s easy to get wrapped up in “why do they get traffic?”…. The one thing I ask myself when writing is how can I be different and share my individual voice. Because like you said we are creators! And everything that flows from the right place is uniquely yours. Thanks
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Harvey- absolutely- bloggers are both men and women! Glad you liked this article, and thanks for commenting even though you weren’t sure
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Christy – Thanks! It helps me a lot in the area of parenting too, especially when I get down on myself as not being a “supermom” ALL the time! lol Thanks for coming by.
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Kirsty- What a great way of putting it – the success of everyone else. You are so right. Thank YOU for sahring your thoughts with us!
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Cheri – Don’t get down. For the first year Homemaker Barbi was around, I RARELY got a comment – at all. If it wasn’t for being able to look at my stats and see that people actually were coming to the site, I would have thought no one ever read my blog at all!
It’s easy to get discouraged if you lose sight of just putting your best out there into the world. It sounds like you’re on the right track, just remember to build yourself and feel GOOD about your blogging, because it’s awesome! And don’t worry- the book deals will come
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Melissa @Tracey So glad you found it helpful!
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Susan: I used to do the same thing. Leo from Zen Habits was a big influence on me to stop obsessing over stats and checking 1000 times a day! Now I think, “Every minute I spend checking stats takes a minute away from creating something that will grow my site.” That works for me.
Barbi
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Melissa (frugalcreativity) Welcome to the blogger world! Glad to have you here
Barbi
angela said,
Many years ago I made a comment that came off as the wrong color even though not meant that way I try to avoid such situations now
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Amber: You are right on about the flow… when you get caught up in trying to “keep up”, you find that what is coming out of you isn’t your own personal brand of blogging goodness that your readers love anyway. Glad you came by!
Barbi
Amy Ellen said,
This is such a good reminder! As moms, we have a limited amount of time to blog… I get discouraged about not having the time to promote… so thanks for posting this thought!
Amy Ellen at HealthBeginsWithMom.com
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@Angela – Every once in a while that happens. It’s easy for things to be misconstrued when they’re in writing and you can’t guage the person’s intention. Don’t let it keep you from commenting though!
Barbi
Courtney said,
There’s no tip that will make you more successful as a blogger than to find your own voice and your own ideas. I absolutely love this article and have been trying to form those very words to speak to others. I’ll surely be linking this one to everyone I know.
Oh and check out this quote: “Few men have the natural strength to honor a friend’s success without envy.” -Aeschylus
Vanderbilt Wife said,
Great advice. I so find that the more people visit my blog, the more I start whining about why I don’t get PR people knocking on my door, finding myself jealous, etc. Recently I’ve had to remind myself that I started blogging to WRITE. Not for anyone else. Write well, be thought-provoking, and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.
And Twins make 5! - Stephanie said,
Exactly the post I needed to read today. I needed someone to remind me that I should be enjoying the huge success I know I am achieving with my own blog instead of envying and comparing that of others. Thank you!
A second thank you to arrive shortly in your email box …
Stephanie of @ And Twins make 5!
Heather Happymaker said,
I once read that when one of us succeeds, we all succeed. I think it’s important to remember that.
Ali McHugh said,
I am from the UK and just starting out as a blogger. Your post has helped me to keep motivated when I have to learn so much about; writing content, internet marketing, technical applications etc. Thank you! Ali
ArianaFalo said,
Very nice blog. I totally agree with your thoughts.
KeHoeff said,
hey this is a very interesting article!
The home remodeling said,
I hear what you are saying and agree to some extent, but what I like about comparing is not to be envious but to learn about what they are doing right. There has been time that I realized that I need to write more become more active, etc. I consider that positive comparison, but there are other times as you said that I wish I could be as successful as some others.
Homemaker Barbi - Danelle Ice said,
@home remodeling: I agree that using positive role models as constructive comparison is helpful. The problem is when we get so focused on others’ success that we fail to take action and make our own success a reality. Thanks for sharing your point of view!
Barbi / Danelle
momstheword said,
Excellent post. If I am trying to be you on my blog then I can’t go with my own strengths, and I will fail at being you and fail and being me.
Also, pretty soon all that negativity can make blogging a pressure and no longer fun!
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